Finding Joy and The Journey of Healing

Meet Marjorie Pezzoli

Hand-painted silk shawl by artist and contributing writer Marjorie Pezzoli

A journey of healing, whether from illness, unimaginable loss, or trauma, requires self-care and the support of others. Sharing becomes possible when you encounter those who have walked a similar path.

A few months ago, I announced I would invite other writers from around Substack to share their experiences here.

I’m thrilled to introduce Marjorie Pezzoli as the first contributor.

Marjorie is a poet, teaching artist, silk painter, and storyteller. A gifted visual artist, Marjorie writes the Cosmic Gumball Machine on Substack.

Marjorie and I met in a writer’s group when we were assigned as “accountability buddies” - the person who would help me stay on task throughout the class. We hit it off immediately.

From our first interaction, I knew Marjorie was special, and I was fortunate to be paired with her. I didn’t know more than that initially, but in time, I would understand why I felt the way I did. 

I recently spoke to Marjorie about her journey, creative process, and healing path after loss.

Please enjoy the interview, her beautiful images and words, and her contribution this week.

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Tracy: Marjorie, thank you for sharing a little about yourself, your creative process, and your healing journey. I’m thrilled to have you at The Power of Change this week.

You’re a talented writer and artist. Like all creators, your perspective is formed from your experiences.

Some writers and artists bring you on a journey you never expected. Others call you to dig deep within yourself.

You do both through your words and images.

Marjorie: Thank you, Tracy, for asking me to contribute this week.

When we met, we clicked right away. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I filled you in with my backstory, which was never an easy share, to say the very least. Our stories are different yet parallel due to incredible life challenges and having to persevere through them.

You have always been a great example and encourager for me and shared a tool list for the hard days when they come.

Tracy: Thank you, Marjorie. It’s been so helpful to know that although our personal experiences are very different, we can find healing and hope in many of the same ways.

Can you tell me about your writing and how it has helped your healing?

Marjorie: My writing journey has been a slow process. My life completely shattered when my daughter Alyssa left this earthly realm. The ocean claimed her mermaid back. Alyssa has been riding comets since 1.25.2013. I consider that day her Rebirthday.

My husband’s co-worker and wife were surfing when they saw a low rainbow form by Scripps Pier as the lifeguard truck came with blaring sirens down the beach. They did not understand what they witnessed until we told them about Alyssa. Her rainbow goodbye sign made all the difference, her way of sharing that she was safe, happy, and home. That sign made the unbearable - bearable. 

This thought, which came to me within the first week of her departure helped me immensely:

with friends

… we laugh

… we cry

… and we laugh again

I still keep these words in mind. They helped me get out of bed every day. 

The first month was a blur. I felt like a burn victim whose scabs were ripped off every morning.

I had to choose to heal every day.

My one-liners helped me along with a “note to self.” 

Tracy: I understand the process of choosing to heal because it is a choice. Overcoming any challenge in life is about choosing to start, which you did after an unimaginable loss. You were working on a novel when we first met.

Marjorie: Fast forward to 2016, when I decided to start a graphic novel as a way to have continued cosmic adventures with my daughter. 

Waves of grief can take you to the weirdest islands or out to the stars. The name of my Substack newsletter, Cosmic Gumball Machine, comes from the very beginning of the storyline.

I needed to become a superhero, BadAss, justify why my girl was summoned back to the stars, plus why I was given the Mermaid Sword and Dragon Shield. They represent my daughter and father.

Yes, it has been hard to write, and I have needed to take long breaks from this project. It has been a process for sure. I just figured out the ending!

The Mayon Chronicles:

Amera’s Cosmic Return

Mayon’s Unchosen Destiny

I am thinking of a new title; stay tuned!

Tracy: I’ll be waiting! I remember when you were struggling with the novel, and you put it aside. Then came Cosmic Gumballs on Substack! Sometimes letting things sit is the best way to move forward.

What are gumballs besides a treat children and adults, including myself, love?  

Marjorie: Gumballs are quick bursts of flavor, fun to chew on and enjoy. They’re modern haiku & senryu - poetry - photography - silk painting - storytelling.  

Many photos that inspire my writings are taken while walking Beau, the dog with “Betty Davis” eyes. It’s the little things that help me deal with grief, from hugs to ladybugs.

I find the creative process fascinating, letting my mind wander in the moment. My photographs have speeded up my writing process. Silk painting can take hours and even days to create. Slowing down does allow for more contemplation. It’s nice to have a number of ways to be inspired and create.

I enjoy creating micro poems and haiku because they are short, sweet, and to the point, like my girl.

propped in the corner

a rusted shovel

~ fern unfurls

drops cling

rainbows form

the pane separating us

Published in Poetry Pea Journal 2:24 / 3:24

(I was happy to learn that the 5/7/5 syllable rule is a western constraint, it freed up my writing.)

Tracy: I love your micro poems, but what makes them and your haiku different is your ability to combine your thoughts with unique visuals, often created from everyday life.

I look forward to your weekly Substack because I never know what I’ll find. It’s like a small gift I open every week. With a few words and a delightful image, you ask the reader to dig deep or question everything.

I also love that your walks with Beau inspire your work. You know how important dogs are to me and my process:)

Marjorie: I seek magic moments within the ordinary.

Tracy: Yes, we agree that magic moments are all around us, but it’s easy to lose sight of the magic when grieving.

Marjorie: I wrote 29 poems during lockdown while following The Poet’s Tree, which helped occupy my mind during that weird time. That’s also when I started taking a ton of cell phone pics of stuff that caught my eye while out walking Beau.”

vertical progress - delays expected #notetoself

Tracy: Marjorie, we’ve both found healing during walks with our dogs. Your observations and artwork also inspire your writings, which deal with grief, hope, and cosmic wonders.

“At first, grief was sharp shards that left clenched hands bleeding.

Now they are like sea glass - able to hold up and view beautiful memories.

From time to time they become clipped and nick my skin.

That is when I throw them back into the sea to be polished.”

-Marjorie Pezzoli

Marjorie: This is one of my longer poems on the theme of grief.

Shattered

Could you love me anyway

could you love me through the pain

Could I still love myself?

Glass houses

glass slippers

Shattered by circumstances

Skipping rocks nearby

had unintended outcomes

Feet expanded

similar to when

I gave birth to my 2nd child

Breaking glass replaced

the songs of birds in the breeze

Shards rained up

rained down

A mist of grief

cut through the air

Intensions released

can love handle the pain?

Walls & roof gone

Bare foot & bleeding

what to do

Brokenness

more than intriguing

Noticed

shattered pieces still sparkle

Discovered

beauty can be found within the pain

Small & large shards held tightly

in clenched hands

I raise arms to the sky

Crimson emotions

flow down

A transfusion of self has begun

Sticky red truth

seeps into my pores

holds me together

Can you love me like this?

I race to the sea

to release the sharpness of life

10,000 pieces of me & a bottle

May they be polished

by waves, sand

& especially time

Will the bottle return

with a new message?

Keep walking the shoreline

becomes my mantra

Lost track of time

minutes turn into years

Look down at my feet

finally the bottle has returned

It is surrounded

by translucent glowing sea glass

some say they are Mermaid’s Tears

They are not

they are mine

Circumstances soften

Skin & Soul reclaim pieces of self

pieces no longer damage hands or heart

Message in the bottle reads

I will love anyway

will love you through the pain

When you love yourself

all is possible

© 2021 Marjorie Pezzoli

S2E14 Poet’s Tree - Host Gill Sotu

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Tracy: Marjorie, thank you for sharing your beautiful work today and for talking with me about your reason for writing and the process of healing after loss. I know your thoughts will resonate with readers, and I appreciate your willingness to share your story and journey with us.

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After Marjorie and I ended our recent call, I couldn’t help but think more about grief, the healing process, and the path to reclaiming joy after loss.

We all experience grief – some much more profound than others.

Every journey through grief is different, and while we can support each other (and need that support), we can never know what another truly feels.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

We each find what works or doesn’t. 

In our own time.

In our own way.

Grief evolves. It changes. It may inspire us.

It always lives within us.

But grief and joy can learn to coexist.

When the time is right, small wonders emerge. Be open to that glimmer of light.

If you’ve experienced loss or trauma or are going through challenges and don’t have the support you need, please reach out to a professional. If you need a supportive community, reach out privately, and I will help direct you to resources you may be unaware of. It wasn’t until I found a supportive community that my healing journey began to unfold.

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Until next week, be mindful and stay safe.

Tracy xo

If you enjoyed this post, please click the ❤️ at the end so more people can discover it on Substack. 🙏🏻

If it resonates with you, drop me a note and let me know how. If you would like to connect with Marjorie, please find her contact details below, and don’t miss her Cosmic Gumballs every Monday on Substack.

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More About Marjorie Pezzoli

Marjorie Pezzoli has been a silk painter for more than 30 years, a visual artist, storyteller, and haikuist. She loves how imagery inspires her writing. She is a Sea Changes: ACT founding team member, a Compassionate Arts San Diego contributor, and a VAMP performer for So Say We All. Since 2019, her poems have been included in 13 poetry anthologies.

In 2023, Marjorie and Deborah Ramos curated a gallery show for ten women poets/artists to feature the sacred feminine, “The Electric Womb.” In the works for 2025, they are planning for “The Electric Blender,” an all-inclusive gallery showcasing words and images again. She is more than honored to be a regular contributor to Setu: Peer-reviewed, Monthly Bilingual Journal of Arts. 

She started writing when she found her daughter Alyssa’s nearly blank journal in 2018. Marjorie filled its pages when she could not. This act began her writing journey.

Her work deals with grief, hope, earth stewardship, and cosmic wonders.

wwwPezzoliart.com

www.TheElectricWomb.com

The Cosmic Gumball Machine - X @pezzoliart - IG @marjoriepezzoli