Recently, I’ve been visiting colleges with my son.
At 18, the path that lies ahead is filled with endless options and opportunities. Yet, it can be hard to know what steps to take next.
During any time of transition, it’s common to ask yourself,“What now?”
You may take it further and ask:
“What am I supposed to do?”
“What is my purpose?”
These are common questions. And while there are many different approaches to uncovering your purpose in life, they all have one thing in common:
they require you to ask yourself key questions.
After meeting with an Admissions advisor, my son and I took a tour of campus with a current student. It was a perfect opportunity to gain a better understanding from a student who had just completed his first year at the school. My son asked if the state-of-the-art gym was often crowded and what hours it was open. I asked if residents could use the open-air kitchen in one of the cafeterias. We continued asking questions that provided helpful information. The questions weren’t thought-provoking, but they met a need.
There are, however, questions that can help you understand your purpose in life. What are they?
Five Questions by Adam Leipzig
Adam Leipzig is a successful film and theatre producer, author, and former Disney executive. During his TEDx talk, he tells the story of being at his 25th college reunion. He realized that 80% of his classmates were unhappy with their lives despite their many achievements and successes. He wanted to know why and what made the other 20% happy.
He asked those who were happy a series of questions and summarized his findings.
Leipzig suggests you can find your life purpose in just a few minutes by asking yourself five questions:
1. Who are you?
2. What do you do? (what is the one thing you feel qualified to share with other people that you enjoy doing).
3. Who do you do it for? (who responds to what you do).
4. What do the people that respond to you want and need? (what are they experiencing and what do you offer that’s helpful).
5. How do they change or transform because of what you give them?
Interestingly, of these five questions, only the first two are about you. The last three are about others, putting the focus on those you can help.
There’s been much written about the fact that happier people help others find happiness. Of course, I like to take it a step further and suggest we help others find joy in their lives, not just happiness.
Another approach to finding your purpose asks just two questions. It’s considered an opposite approach. The first question:
1. What makes me feel alive and happy?
What are you doing when you feel at peace, happy and joyful? Do you lose yourself in an activity, forgetting time and place? Do hours feel like minutes? During that time, are you teaching others, creating something, participating in a team event, etc.
If the first question is difficult to answer, consider the opposite question.
2. What makes me feel sad or anxious or propels me to act?
Is there a cause that affects you so deeply you feel driven to do something about it?
When the medical community was unable to help my young son, it became my mission to find the answers and to later help others who were in a similar situation. I turned my pain into a mission and a purpose.
Ikigai: A third approach
Many successful entrepreneurs teach students to utilize the Japanese concept of Ikigai when building a business.
Ikigai (pronounced “eye-ka-guy”) is an approach that strives to balance your hopes and desires with the practical aspects of needs. Ikigai means your reason for living and the concept can be used to determine if a business will be successful and sustainable.
Ikigai asks four questions:
· What do you love (your passion).
· What does the world need (your mission).
· What are you good at (your vocation).
· What can you get paid for (your profession).
When answering these questions, students are asked to plot their answers on a diagram. At the center, where the four sections intersect, is your Ikigai.
Sometimes, asking just one key question can provide the answer you need.
If the first three approaches to finding your purpose didn’t resonate with you and you’re still struggling to understand your purpose in life, consider another approach as illustrated by an ancient parable:
A student asks his teacher, “What is the purpose of my life?" She pauses for a moment and looks into the student’s eyes. She replies:
“Only you can find that, but knowing your purpose is not found in your mind, but rather in your heart.”
She then asks:
“If you knew, right now, that you were going to die tomorrow, what would you most regret that you had not accomplished?”
The student thought about it and responded that he would regret not making peace with his family and not creating his own center for learning.
The teacher smiled and said, “See how you discovered it for yourself. Now it’s up to you to go and make these your reality . . .”
The student may have unconsciously known what he needed to do, but it took the right question for him to discover it.
If your life is in transition, or you’re unsure about your future, there are many ways to find the answers.
It’s easy to be distracted by day-to-day responsibilities, but if you want to live a fulfilling life of meaning and purpose, set aside time to reflect on what’s important to you and start asking yourself questions that will lead to your answer.
A final thought.
For years, I struggled with the question of purpose because I believed you had just one purpose in life. Then I realized that your purpose changes based on your age, stage in life, or circumstances.
I gave myself permission to pivot, change, and grow, and I let go of the limiting belief that I was meant to be or do just one thing.
That means your purpose today may not be your purpose tomorrow.
And that’s okay.
Learning to change and evolve is part of life.
Until next week, be mindful and stay safe.
Tracy xo
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These are great questions to ask. I liked how you showed different perspectives from people and cultures. The how becomes easier when you know your whys + it is ok that they can change with growth.
This also works for charters in my graphic novel! Thank you Tracy ✍️🦸♀️😊
It's interesting to see these different ideas on how to find purpose all in the same place. There another that is useful for me now in my 50's and that is to think about how I will feel at 80 looking back on the things I did, and how happy and satisfied I am looking back on my life.