In high school, I was often asked about my plans.
What did I intend to do after school?
What did I want to study in college?
What comes next?
Do you have a plan?
While I considered these questions and the possibilities that lie ahead, I did not have a life plan; a guide of what I hoped to achieve personally and professionally. I knew I wanted to write, and I knew I wanted to make a difference in some way during my lifetime, but that was hardly a plan.
For someone who regularly contemplated most aspects of life, I hadn’t figured out what I truly wanted or how I would move from Point A to Point B.
I had many iterations of what life could be, but soon after high school, I learned that even if I had a plan, ideas change, and life experiences lead to new discoveries, new paths, and new plans.
The options were endless. To this day, I continue to see new opportunities around me. I made a career change after twenty years in one field, and I’m not sure I’m done exploring my options.
Having a plan was not as vital as I once believed.
Switching Lanes
While life experiences lead to beautiful discoveries, they may also lead to challenges, difficult realizations, and radical departures from the path once traveled.
The unexpected has a way of forcing you to switch lanes.
When my life took an unexpected turn in my 20s, the plans, directions, goals, and achievements that had become a guidepost soon became unimportant.
Everything I thought I knew became irrelevant.
The best-laid plans were meaningless.
Had I not been forced off my path, I may never have learned some of life’s greatest lessons.
Lesson: When you’re facing the unexpected, ditch the plan.
Of course, this wasn’t the first lesson I learned, but it was one of the most important. Like people thrust into an unwelcome situation, it took time to let go of the past and embrace the present.
I attempted to hold on to my plans despite the challenging issues that required me to rethink every aspect of my life.
I thought I was in control. Until I learned I wasn’t.
Lesson: Accepting you’re not in control will free you from expectations and help you see what you’re missing.
In addition to time, learning to let go required self-reflection. And when that wasn’t enough, it took counseling, coaching, and a genuine desire to change how I thought about my life. I needed help, and it was okay.
I needed to go beyond my understanding of psychology and delve into metaphysics to realize I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Only then did I learn the most important lesson:
Lesson: When facing the unknown, EMBRACE THE MOMENT.
Like learning to ride a bike, learning to embrace the moment is a skill that takes practice. It had evaded me until I was forced to face it head-on. Only then did I understand it was a skill that belonged in my toolbox because no one escapes the unexpected in life.
No one is immune to life’s challenges.
My path forward was anything but smooth. It wasn’t easy or intuitive either.
It took time.
It called into question everything I believed.
I initially bristled at the unfortunate fate I faced. Until I changed the way I looked at the situation.
A New Perspective
By learning to embrace the moment, I gave myself the power to change and the space to breathe.
The much-needed space to pause and reflect.
Instead of being stuck in the emotional and physical despair that came with fighting the tide of an unwelcome situation, I allowed myself the grace to accept the new time and place that surrounded me.
What happened next was a life-changing moment like no other. As if a spell had been cast or a magic wand waved before me, a sense of calm that had eluded me for years transcended my consciousness and enveloped me.
I was at peace. I couldn’t explain why at the time, but I knew the next steps would be revealed.
What soon followed was an ability to see what I needed to do next, unfolding like a map leading travelers to a new destination.
Learning to remain calm and embrace the moment also helped soothe my nervous system and break the fight-or-flight response which had taken hold.
The effect was profound.
Not only could I see the next steps, I saw numerous options and endless potential.
I stopped looking back with regret and began appreciating where I was at that moment. I understood how far I’d come and looked forward to how far I could go.
By changing my mindset and perspective and embracing the present, I took the first steps, even though the new path was beyond my comfort zone.
I embarked on a journey of personal transformation.
I was no longer concerned with a plan. I was focused on the solution and what came next.
I'm 100% sure I wouldn’t be where I am today without embracing the moments I’ve experienced. Although I wish I had learned how to embrace the unexpected earlier in my life, I’m grateful for the journey and the opportunity to help others understand this vital life skill.
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Ah this was a good one. Recently went through A LOT of changes, and the lessons here are sage advice. Thank you for the great post Tracy!
It's so important to be able to go with the flow when things don't go as you expected. This is great advice.