The Essential Skill You Need To Learn To Stop Fearing Change

The 3-step approach to gain confidence and move beyond your comfort zone

Welcome to The Power of Change, a weekly publication about mindset, resilience, healing, human connection, and the pursuit of joy.

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Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on pexels

Uncertainty is a part of life. Change is a constant. Fear is normal.

When you accept these truths, you can develop the skills to succeed in life. Ask ten people to define success, and you’ll get ten different answers. Ask them if they’ve experienced uncertainty, change, or fear.

The answer will be a resounding yes.

You’ll face the need to adapt throughout life. Learning how to pivot is an essential skill for overcoming uncertainty and fear of the unknown.

When you learn to pivot, you create and expand new opportunities, strengthen your resolve to change, and enrich your satisfaction with life.  

You move forward confidently and leave the fear of the unknown behind you.

This is a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.

-Maya Angelou

What does it take to learn how to pivot?

It doesn’t require a Ph.D. or even a college education. Anyone can learn the skill of pivoting. It requires three steps:

1.        The willingness to think differently

2.        The ability to accept change

3.        Practice

The sooner you learn how to pivot, the easier your life becomes.

Last week, I met with three people from distinct industries: higher education, real estate development, and hospitality. These are different markets with distinct customer profiles. Yet, during each meeting, the topic of change and the importance of learning to pivot were referenced.

The consensus was clear:

Learning to pivot is an essential life skill.

Here’s a recent story about pivoting using the first two steps: being willing to think differently and accepting change.

I sat next to my 18-year-old son in the office of the Assistant Provost of the college he’ll soon be attending. We were there because my son needed to pivot due to a situation beyond his control. 

I was confident in the outcome of the meeting. My son was skeptical. My confidence came from life experience and knowing how my son handled previous situations. His skepticism was natural for a young person.

He began the conversation by explaining why he needed to pivot. The Provost understood the situation (and that this was beyond my son’s control). Before he could outline his plan, the Provost said, “Pivoting is what I do all day. Let’s talk about what you need.”

I smiled. My son relaxed and began to outline his plan with more confidence.

Before arranging the meeting, I asked my son to consider what he needed and what a plan would look like. He needed to think through how he would pivot and develop his ‘ask.’  

I helped him outline his options and consider the alternatives. But before he could do that, he had to think differently about his plan, be open to the unknown, and accept change.

He had previously considered his options and selected his major. Given his interests and the career he wanted to pursue, it was a no-brainer.

Until an unforeseen event a month before school started led to his plan being scraped. Like many times before, he faced uncertainty and learned to change his plan by pivoting. 

Previously, when facing the unknown, the options seemed impossible. They were also uncomfortable and definitely hard.

After discussing his proposal with the Provost, he heard the response I hoped for:

“I can help you do that. I’m impressed with your ability to articulate your needs and develop a plan to achieve them. I look forward to working with you to get it done.”

Learning to pivot is an essential life skill. It opens doors and creates opportunities.

What my son asked (and received) may lead to additional coursework during the next three years, but he’ll reach his objective. In the process, he gained the attention and respect of someone who will help guide him along this new path.

The new plan wasn’t what he expected. It involved fear of the unknown, which was uncomfortable again and required him to move well beyond his comfort zone. Fortunately, he’s had a lot of practice in these areas.

I knew he could make the pivot, as he’s done before. Now, as a young adult, he better understands what it means to pivot and what it takes to make it happen.

Life lessons

During my three decades of work experience and my five decades of life experience, I learned an invaluable lesson:

Unexpected change and uncertainty will always be a part of your life. Your ability to pivot through changes and challenges will determine your level of happiness, satisfaction, and success.

I began learning the art of pivoting ten years into a successful career. Everything I planned changed due to an unexpected illness. I was not prepared for that level of pivot. I had to develop the skill of pivoting. 

Challenge yourself

A critical part of my learning was understanding that our reactions to situations and experiences become hard-wired and can lead to automatic responses.

For example, if you’re afraid of climbing to the top of a mountain or standing on the balcony of the top floor of a skyscraper, it causes a reaction before you have a chance to think logically about the situation.

You automatically react.

But you can change those reactions.

Challenging yourself to interrupt automatic reactions is imperative to changing how you respond. I uncovered many tools during my journey. I’ve written about the power of neuroplasticity which lays at the foundation of this premise.

Consider how you can think about change differently. 

Then, you can begin to develop the tools needed to accept change and reverse automatic responses. You’ll learn to overcome uncertainty and move past your comfort zone and the fear of the unknown with confidence. 

You learn to pivot by:

1.        Thinking differently

2.        Accepting change, despite feeling uncomfortable

3.        Practicing #1 and #2 over and over again

Uncertainty is a part of life. Change is a constant. Fear is normal.

Learning to pivot is an essential life skill that leads to new opportunities, resilience, and a more enjoyable and satisfying life.

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Until next week, be mindful and stay safe.

xo Tracy

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