Welcome to Soulful Sunday #32 for August 20, 2023
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When I stepped outside and saw the cloudless blue sky this morning, I was taken back to a similar day more than forty-five years ago.
As Remy and I walked through the neighborhood, I retraced my steps down the hill from our beach house to the small cove that captured my heart every summer.
Those were perfect days and precious memories.
My fondest memories, however, were not of the waves crashing around me or the endless sand castles made, but of the family get-togethers and conversations around the large picnic table on our porch before, during, or after dinner.
The most memorable days included the whole family - three generations of my family.
Being the youngest by far, I didn’t talk much, but I listened intently!
I loved hearing the simultaneous conversations swirling around me - from the latest Red Sox box score to the breaking news headlines to the plans for the next school year.
I took it all in.
These multigenerational meals moved north and inside during the winter, but the conversations were just as entertaining.
I never remember a quiet meal. And I loved it that way. Each conversation was an education.
A topic I knew nothing about.
An opinion I never considered.
A thought I hadn’t contemplated.
I learned so much from the experience that was my family.
After my divorce, when it was just my son and me, quiet became the norm.
In the beginning, I spent meals entertaining him with games or stories. It passed the time and the quiet.
As an only child, he didn’t have the benefit of tuning me out to listen to a sibling, although I know he tuned me out on many occasions.
Unwilling to sit silently, I asked many questions and embraced each answer. As time passed, the questions covered new topics, and the conversations deepened.
Soon, he began asking questions of me. In time, whether he knew it or not, he learned the art of conversation. And he was pretty adept at an early age.
When we had dinner with my parents, he had the benefit of listening to their stories, and he loved it, just as I did when I was his age and with my grandparents.
During the holidays, when our table grew to 15-20 people, my son embraced the sights and sounds around him as I had those summers around the picnic table.
While I still carry the guilt that I could not give him a childhood like mine, I made it my mission to surround him with family, friendship, authentic connections, and real conversation.
These four pillars strengthened the foundation that had buckled during my divorce and created a new understanding of family.
Although most days it was just the two of us, my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends played a huge role in helping me convey a critical life lesson:
While our family may have looked different than the average two-parent, multiple-children family that surrounded us, we were blessed with the love and support we hoped for.
He had grandparents that were a part of his life every day.
He had cousins that treated him like siblings.
He had an extended network of ‘aunts’ who loved him like their own.
When I became a single parent, I leaned on family and friends so my son would know what family looked like. Through their love and support, he has benefited from a crowded table filled with big hearts, warm hugs, meaningful connections, and heartfelt conversations.
It’s the way life should be.
To my family and friends reading this, thank you for being there and filling our table!
I’d love to hear a memory that has impacted your life. Please drop a comment at the end if you’d like to share!
Why Soulful Sunday?
I started The Power of Change to celebrate resilience and explore the potential to transform your life in meaningful ways.
Learning to be mindful is the first step. It helps you focus on what’s important every day.
I also treasure those wonderful years when my parents were alive and I was surrounded by .... . aunts, uncles and cousins. I am so glad that Dad and I could give you that same feeling of love and belonging.
Being an only child with other relatives living out of state, I recall wonderful neighborhood gatherings. I learned to get along with different age groups by the art of listening.