Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful women I know who nurture their children (both two-legged and four-legged varieties)! I hope you have a wonderful day with your loved ones. Please enjoy a special post from a guest contributor this week.
Also, don’t miss an excerpt from an article I wrote in honor of my Mother for Mother’s Day. It was first published on Medium in 2023.
I took a few days off and headed to the beach again. It meant I was playing catch-up this week. When I sat down to write, my mind was elsewhere….clients needing attention, advocacy work for Lyme Disease Awareness Month, and an unexpected personal issue that caught me off guard.
Life can force you to face issues head-on - whether you’re ready or not. It’s never ideal, especially with a laundry list of ‘to-do’ items.
To help focus, I took long walks, played with Remy, our 14-month-old Bernedoodle, worked on a project at home, increased my meditation practice, and did everything but write.
Many of you can relate to writer’s block. It happens, but I typically don’t experience it for long.
I closed my laptop for the day.
Things weren’t much better the next day.
After three days, Remy had had enough of my sighs and pacing. He sensed my uneasiness. As a ‘velcro dog,’ Remy is never far. He sleeps at my feet or under my desk when I’m writing. He prefers to be even closer, but he’s not a lap dog like our Bichon’s before him.
Nevertheless, he decided to take action…. He swiftly kicked me out of my chair and looked at the screen.
He scanned the page.
He looked as bewildered as I felt.
That’s when I asked for help. With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I considered it an early present.
First, an introduction from Remy🐾
Hi, everyone. Remy here. Many of you may remember me. When I first joined my family, I was the subject of a few posts here at The Power of Change, but I‘m pretty shy and wasn’t comfortable being a regular contributor. Mom agreed to take me off the monthly calendar, but I’m back this week!
Typically I help Mom by listening to her stories when she edits them. This week, she wasn’t writing much and was very restless.
Something was off. She usually juggles multiple responsibilities with ease, but this week, she seemed content to hang with me and forget everything else. She was very quiet. We walked a lot, went to a new park, where we ran around and played ball, and she took me to meet some new dog friends. She doesn’t always have time for all that, so I enjoyed every minute.
The odd part was when she didn’t seem happy to go home.
Then I heard her tell her friend she had writer’s block. I still don’t know what that is, but I noticed very little tapping on the keyboard this week. Was that writer’s block?
I decided to investigate, and that’s when I saw what she was working on. She needed my help!
Usually, when she taps, she reads the words, so I get to listen before you read them on Sunday. She calls me a beta reader.
I love the sounds of words, especially the words I know, like my name and a few other key ones: walk, treats, dinner….
These are my happy words. Mom calls them joyful words. She says joyful words lead to a grateful life. Count me in if all those things lead to more treats and walks!
As Mom said, I’m considered a ‘velcro dog,’ meaning I’m never far from Mom. I follow her everywhere if I can. Sometimes, I get to go to work with her. If she’s writing, my job is to stay close and ensure the tapping continues. She taps so quickly when she’s in the flow that I doze off, but I always try to keep one eye open (usually my blue eye).
Sometimes, when she reads, the words sound sad, like when she talks about missing her Dad or if she’s worried about something. Mom has had many worries. I notice she doesn’t smile when she reads sad words. It makes me sad if she doesn’t smile.
When there are long pauses and not enough smiles, I know she needs a hug.
There were lots of hugs this week.
I hope when she reads this, she smiles a lot!
*Note: You’ll notice she did some editing. Her words are in italics. She said I did a great job, but everyone needs a little help sometimes :)
What Makes a Great Mom
by Remy the Bernedood 🐾
When I arrived at my new home, my Mom spent a lot of time with me.
She always let me stay close, even if she was doing other things, like cooking or talking with clients. She spent hours playing with me and teaching me the ropes. She showed me around the neighborhood and introduced me to all her friends and their dogs. She also showed me her happy places - the top of the street where you can see the blue sky meet the blue sea is one of her favorites. In addition to sharing her special places, she helped me find my own. No matter how busy she was, she made time for me to explore and have fun.
Even if we’re not doing anything special, she’s always ready to hug me when needed, especially if I get nervous in a new place or around strangers.
If I’m feeling shy, she helps me feel comfortable.
If I’m not sure I can do something, she encourages me to try.
She tells me how strong and smart I am if I struggle to climb or figure something out.
She makes me feel like I can do anything! I wonder if all dogs feel that way. They should.
The best gift you can give your child is your time.
The gift of being present is a gift that lasts a lifetime.
I’ve been with Mom and my new family for over a year. I remember how nervous I was when I first arrived. I traveled most of the day in a car, wondering where I was going. I was alone and scared. When the car finally stopped, Mom was waiting to hold me. She smelled perfect, and I knew I was going to love her. I felt safe. Then I met my other family members and realized I had many hoomans to love. Lucky me!
The best part of my family is how much they love and care for me, even when I get into trouble ( which, to be honest, is pretty often). I can’t help but be curious, and boy, I love the yummy smells on the kitchen counter. Can you blame me?
Family is everything. Make the most of the time together and cherish each day.
The Golden Rule applies to dogs, too.
I didn’t know what a golden rule was until Mom explained it to me over the past year. She said that if I wanted people to love and play with me, I had to do my best to love and play with them, too.
Treat others as you want to be treated.
I began to understand the golden rule better by watching my hoomans. I noticed that Mom, Jack, and Mimi (what I call Mom’s Mom) gave each other a lot of hugs, helped each other when they needed it, cooked for each other, and had fun together. They were always there for each other. Sometimes, they would have disagreements, but I could still tell they loved each other by their actions.
Follow the Golden Rule to enjoy a joyful, grateful Life.
If you enjoyed my post and want to see more of my adventures, you can follow me on Instagram at remy_the_bernedood. If you’d like to read more from me here, let Mom know by commenting below. 🐶
Thanks, Remy, for helping me out this week!
I’ll be back next week with something new. Until then, enjoy an excerpt from an article about my Mother, first published on Medium in 2023.
Life Doesn’t Come With A Manual, It Comes With A Mother
After more than fifty years, I’m still learning about life and motherhood from my Mother.
This is what she’s taught me so far:
Being a mother is a privilege and a gift.
My Mother never told me motherhood was a privilege; she showed me it was.
She volunteered at school and church despite her other obligations.
She drove my friends and me to the movies, the mall, or wherever we needed.
She welcomed our friends to our home as if it were their own.
If someone needed a ride or help, she offered.
She did all these things effortlessly, never complaining. She made being a mother look easy, even when I knew it wasn’t.
I thought all mothers did the things she did for me and my siblings. I would learn that wasn’t the case.
When I became a mother, I often reflected on my childhood and realized my Mom made everything look easy because she treated motherhood as a privilege and a gift.
Family is everything.
I was raised in a close-knit Italian family. My aunts, uncles, and grandparents were integral to my life, and my first cousins were like brothers and sisters.
We visited each other often and always looked forward to being together. The holidays were fun, loud events that lasted for hours and ended too soon.
We celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions together. My family and my Aunt’s family rented a summer home together for many years. Four adults and six kids in one house with one bathroom!
They were some of the best times of my life.
The women of my family were at the center of it all. They were there for each other through thick and thin, no questions asked.
When I was going through my divorce years ago, my cousin, an attorney, made a point to be in court every time I had to be there. Despite his busy law practice, he took the time to show his love and support. That’s what my family did.
Treat others as you want to be treated.
The golden rule was not something I learned by being told. I knew it by watching my Mother (and father).
In addition to being a loving and supportive parent, my Mom demonstrated what it meant to be a caring and supportive friend, daughter, sister, and wife.
She taught me the importance of friendship.
She taught me to give to others.
Food drives or toy drives. A homecooked meal for a family that was experiencing a difficult time. Rides for an older person who needed one.
If there was a need, my Mother tried to fill it out. She gave from the heart and showed her love to neighbors and strangers alike. She taught the golden rule by example.
Be grateful, gracious, and kind.
Like most children, I learned to say please and thank you as soon as I learned to speak. When I learned to write, my Mother showed me how to write a proper thank you note and taught me when to send one.
If a relative we hadn’t seen sent a gift, I called to thank them immediately.
At Christmas or on a birthday, if we received something we didn’t care for, we learned to smile, say thank you, and mean it!
My Mother is the most gracious person I know. When I watch old Grace Kelly movies, I see my Mom.
She is both beautiful and graceful, but more than that, she is kind beyond measure.
A mother’s love is unconditional. It helps you become who you were meant to be.
Dance classes, ice skating lessons, cheerleading practices, homework assistance. My Mother was always there.
Helping to make costumes, chauffeuring a car full of boisterous pre-teen girls, explaining algebra.
I never questioned my Mother’s love or commitment.
She was my biggest fan, encouraging me to reach for the stars and beyond.
When I was sick, she made me soup and told me to rest.
When I was worried, she gave me the confidence to persevere.
When I was sad, she hugged me and told me a story of when she felt the same.
She was gentle but firm, kind but confident.
She celebrated my victories and helped me through every challenge.
She was my Mother, but she was my friend too.
More importantly, she was the woman I hoped to become.
I’ve had the privilege of being my Mother’s daughter for more than fifty years. I’ve learned what it means to be the kind of Mother who can make a difference in their children’s lives.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thank you for helping me become who I am today.
I love you.❤️
Thank you for being a part of The Power of Change, and welcome to the new subscribers who joined this past week. I’m so grateful for your support.
If you enjoyed this post, please click the ❤️ at the end so more people can discover it on Substack. If it resonates with you, drop me a note and let me know how. 🙏🏻
Until next week, be mindful and stay safe.
This was so creative and so contributing. This sounds cliche but our mothers were cut from the same cloth too. I’m 58 and when I reflect on the sacrifice (lovingly so) that my mother was for us four kids, it dumbfounds me, as a father to only two.
I appreciate the contribution of this essay to my awareness and to my heart.
I love the tribute to your mom and Remy's post ! We're both lucky to have strong women as mothers as we grew up So glad Remy could fill in as guest writer! Hope you and your mom had a lovely Mother's Day! Ally is a velcro dog too. Like Remy, she comes to work with me everyday and is now sitting in on some of my sessions with a few of the kids. It was delightful to have her join us on our annual Mother's Day flower shopping .