As an eye doctor, I’ve had patients cry in my chair more times than I can count. Going to the doctor always brings up some sort of emotion, even if it has nothing to do with the visit.
Here for you, Tracy. I see you. I'm sorry about your Dad. Sometimes these moments are to keep his memory alive.
“While I know I have friends and family who would have stepped up had I asked for a ride this past week, asking for help can be challenging, too, especially when chronic illness forces you to ask more than most.”
Tracy, having had similar thoughts in the past, what has served me is to remember that countless friends and family “thank me” for asking them to help, telling me it is a gift to them vs. the burden I perceive it to be.
They’ve taught me that my perspective of thinking it would “cost” them some of their precious time is far from the truth. Rather, they tell me time and again it fills them up with gratitude, nourishing them as they can be of service to someone they love.
I suspect time spent with you would bring them immeasurable joy - even if they looked a little blurry :)
Awwwwh Tracy, if I lived close to you I would give you a ride in a heartbeat. I completely understand how grief rises up unexpectedly.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I have learned the power of my tears and let them flow freely. Sometimes they burn, other times feel soft… very interesting how different emotions change them. From one Daddy’s girl to another- Big time massive (((hugs))). I know we miss their hugs, laughter, & wisdom the most + so much more.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad, Tracy. Grief shows up at times when we least expect it.
I remember when my folks passed within 8 months of one another. They lived to 90-years old. know they lived long lives and I was blessed to have them with me for so many years. But when people, out of wanting to say something supportive, pointed that out to me, it fell flat. Loss and grief hurts like hell and takes the time it takes. Sending you loving thoughts.
Thank you, Paulette. That means so much. And while my father lived to just shy of his 89th birthday, it's still not easy to lose a loved one. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Give yourself a pass. Things don't always happen as we planned. I have had friends cancel at the last minute too.
You knew there were options if you had a clear head to process things. Anniversaries of death are troubling for a long time and they consume us far more than we care to admit. But, they eventually lose some of their sting. Don't feel bad when you realize one day that the anniversary didn't overwhelm you. It was just your Dad telling you that he was okay with you moving on.
Larry, thank you for this perspective. Although I know it was my father's time to leave, those who are left behind need time to process that passage. I am fortunate that I feel my father's presence often and I know he would not want me to grieve but remember him with love.
Sending healing thoughts your way— grief does come in waves in the most unexpected ways ❤️ please be gentle with yourself around this anniversary time 🫂🫂
I just had a check up. Two disturbing things. 1)A glare test. I had a real problem seeing the chart.2) Early signs of potential glaucoma. I return Dec. 17.
Thank you , Tracey. The Rx didn't seem alarmed, but there is something very personal about eyes. I remember a line from a prayer in Psalms. He's praying God will, "Guard me as you would guard your own eyes."
Tracy, your Dad was a wonderful man and I miss him too. Just remember that you do have friends who don’t mind how many times you ask for help because these are people who care.
Tracy, My heart is with you. There is so much mixed together in this experience—the loss of your father but also facing aging alone. I resonate with so much of what you've shared. I'm also another spoonie who sees the eye doctor every 6 months, sometimes more often.
As an eye doctor, I’ve had patients cry in my chair more times than I can count. Going to the doctor always brings up some sort of emotion, even if it has nothing to do with the visit.
Here for you, Tracy. I see you. I'm sorry about your Dad. Sometimes these moments are to keep his memory alive.
“While I know I have friends and family who would have stepped up had I asked for a ride this past week, asking for help can be challenging, too, especially when chronic illness forces you to ask more than most.”
Tracy, having had similar thoughts in the past, what has served me is to remember that countless friends and family “thank me” for asking them to help, telling me it is a gift to them vs. the burden I perceive it to be.
They’ve taught me that my perspective of thinking it would “cost” them some of their precious time is far from the truth. Rather, they tell me time and again it fills them up with gratitude, nourishing them as they can be of service to someone they love.
I suspect time spent with you would bring them immeasurable joy - even if they looked a little blurry :)
James, a friend said these exact words to me today. Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it so much.
Thinking of you ❤️
Thanks Christine. Likewise.
Oh, how grief cycles. And we don't talk about what it takes to live alone nearly enough. This was beautifully written and I'm so glad you shared it.
Thank you, Erin. I appreciate your perspective.
Awwwwh Tracy, if I lived close to you I would give you a ride in a heartbeat. I completely understand how grief rises up unexpectedly.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I have learned the power of my tears and let them flow freely. Sometimes they burn, other times feel soft… very interesting how different emotions change them. From one Daddy’s girl to another- Big time massive (((hugs))). I know we miss their hugs, laughter, & wisdom the most + so much more.
Thank you, Marjorie. I know you understand this all too well and I appreciate the difference in the types of tears.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad, Tracy. Grief shows up at times when we least expect it.
I remember when my folks passed within 8 months of one another. They lived to 90-years old. know they lived long lives and I was blessed to have them with me for so many years. But when people, out of wanting to say something supportive, pointed that out to me, it fell flat. Loss and grief hurts like hell and takes the time it takes. Sending you loving thoughts.
Thank you, Paulette. That means so much. And while my father lived to just shy of his 89th birthday, it's still not easy to lose a loved one. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
It is never easy. Be well, my friend.
Thank you, Paulette. Wishing you the same always.
I’m sending you a hug every single day. Lots of love and healing, beautiful beautiful soul. X
Thank you for the virtual hug and healing thoughts.
Give yourself a pass. Things don't always happen as we planned. I have had friends cancel at the last minute too.
You knew there were options if you had a clear head to process things. Anniversaries of death are troubling for a long time and they consume us far more than we care to admit. But, they eventually lose some of their sting. Don't feel bad when you realize one day that the anniversary didn't overwhelm you. It was just your Dad telling you that he was okay with you moving on.
Larry, thank you for this perspective. Although I know it was my father's time to leave, those who are left behind need time to process that passage. I am fortunate that I feel my father's presence often and I know he would not want me to grieve but remember him with love.
Sincerely I am sorry for your loss. 🌹
Thank you, Kathy.
Thinking of you and your wonderful Dad. I love you and wish we lived closer. 💔
I love you and wish we lived closer too. My dad was like yours and I'll never forget the night we were all together.
Sending healing thoughts your way— grief does come in waves in the most unexpected ways ❤️ please be gentle with yourself around this anniversary time 🫂🫂
Thank you Monica! I'm doing just that.
I just had a check up. Two disturbing things. 1)A glare test. I had a real problem seeing the chart.2) Early signs of potential glaucoma. I return Dec. 17.
It is very disturbing. I feel vulnerable.
Best wishes that it is not serious.
Thank you , Tracey. The Rx didn't seem alarmed, but there is something very personal about eyes. I remember a line from a prayer in Psalms. He's praying God will, "Guard me as you would guard your own eyes."
❤️
Tracy, your Dad was a wonderful man and I miss him too. Just remember that you do have friends who don’t mind how many times you ask for help because these are people who care.
Tracy, My heart is with you. There is so much mixed together in this experience—the loss of your father but also facing aging alone. I resonate with so much of what you've shared. I'm also another spoonie who sees the eye doctor every 6 months, sometimes more often.