This year, I vowed to step out of my comfort zone. A reader recently asked what I meant by that. Although it wasn’t intentional, I didn’t share what my comfort zone looked like, why I wanted to expand it, and why it may be difficult to do.
However, The Power of Change started to offer recommendations and support to those navigating difficult times. Its mission is to help others build resilience and live fully. How could I suggest readers join me on a journey of self-discovery if I wasn’t sharing the ways I’m trying to improve and change?
Comfort zones and why it’s okay to leave them.
If you watched the hit show Friends, Central Perk was a comfort zone for the show’s characters. They met there regularly to catch up and share the ups and downs of life. They talked, they laughed, and they felt at home. It was their comfort zone.
Your comfort zone may not be your local coffee shop. A comfort zone can be a person, group, or place that makes you feel loved and supported. A comfort zone is your safe place.
We all need them, but sometimes, it’s time to venture beyond them, and the thought of doing so is not as easy as it seems.
For six years, my comfort zone was my home. It was the place away from doctors, hospitals, and judgment.
After long, draining trips for medical appointments and treatments in New York, I couldn’t wait to get home and sleep in my own bed. I longed to hug my dog and wrap myself in the coziest blanket on my couch. I was happy in my comfort zone.
Then Covid hit, and venturing outside my safe zone became more challenging. My son and I were both immune-compromised, and we needed to stay healthy. During the first year of the pandemic, we rarely left the house.
But nothing lasts forever. As my son’s health improved and the pandemic eased, I began to look forward to what came next. The possibilities were endless, but stepping away from our safe place to face new situations was not always easy.
Leaving a comfort zone.
Do you remember your first day at a new school? You walk into a classroom and feel all eyes on you. There are no familiar faces. You want to turn around and walk out the door.
Stepping outside my comfort zone felt a lot like that. After years of isolation at home managing medical issues, I experienced social anxiety for the first time. I wrote about my experience in a previous post. If you missed it, you can read it here.
I didn’t expect to feel anxious entering a networking event, but I did. It made me realize that leaving your comfort zone is about embracing change. And I needed to do more of it.
Even if the change is planned, stepping outside your safe place can leave you feeling vulnerable and disempowered. If the change is unexpected, it can cause you to question everything you believe.
When I reflected on why I felt so anxious, I realized it came down to fear, a common motivation for resisting change.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of what you’re leaving behind.
Fear that you’re not up to the challenge of what’s next.
But here’s the thing.
Fear of change is not a weakness. It’s a part of being human.
We all experience fear, and it’s a normal emotion.
After my divorce, I was afraid of being alone.
After I became ill, I was afraid of the person I would become.
But those events led me to new opportunities I wouldn’t have had otherwise. They taught me more about myself than if I never had the experience.
Being single gave me time to read, write, explore new interests, and, most importantly, better understand myself. I gained a new perspective on who I was and what I wanted the rest of my life to look like.
“Nothing endures but change.”
-Heraclitus
Stepping outside your comfort zone challenges you in ways that help you grow.
I ventured outside my home in baby steps. It wasn’t until last year that I felt comfortable eating in public places due to COVID-19. And while I still avoid large crowds, I love trying new restaurants and meeting new people.
So, what does stepping out of my comfort zone look like for me this year?
For starters, I’ll be boarding a plane for the first time in nearly seven years! I used to travel extensively for work and loved to travel for pleasure, but airplanes and my comfort zone didn’t blend well during the past decade. I’m ready to change that (N95 and all) this year.
Another way I’ve stepped beyond my comfort zone…I started dating again after a long hiatus. It turns out that the many years alone helped prepare me for what came next. I learned what I wanted in a relationship and what I didn’t want. I also knew I would never settle for less than I deserved again. So when the right person came along, I was ready to take a chance.
Did I have second thoughts? Of course.
That thing called fear crept in and reminded me how hard change can be.
I hesitated for a few days before booking my flight and didn’t return the first few calls from the person I’m now dating. But I moved past my hesitation by reflecting on what I was afraid of.
How did I overcome the fear? I did these three things:
I acknowledged the fear of the unknown and what I may be missing if I didn’t push through it.
I accepted that the fear of leaving my comfort zone was normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
I reminded myself I was resilient enough to handle anything that came my way.
Remember, you can’t control what occurs in your life, but you can control how you respond to the events.
If you want to expand your life in new ways and leave your comfort zone behind, I encourage you to try. If you recently experienced a situation that left you feeling vulnerable to change, how did you deal with it? I’d love to hear from you.
Until next week, stay safe and be mindful.
Fear is good, it lets us know we’re trying new things and moving forward.
I much prefer the term Explorer Syndrome to Imposter Syndrome. 😃
Interesting to hear your journey out of your comfort zones after covid. Especially since you're immuno compromised. Must have been a scary time. That virus sure messed with our sense of security.