Welcome to The Power of Change, a weekly publication that offers tools and techniques for living your best life. You’ll find tips and recommendations to persevere whether you’re sick, well, or in between. Join me each week as we explore stories about building resilience, overcoming adversity, and finding joy.
Swiss psychologist Carl Jung helped those who believed their lives had lost meaning by guiding them to examine their individuality. His approach was a testament to the power of looking inward.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
-Carl Jung
Jung’s theories highlighted the power of mindfulness and illustrated how the ability to look inward enables us to understand ourselves and our needs.
When contemplating what gives you joy, most people point to the people and important relationships in their lives. But when you think about those relationships, do you also consider the need to develop a supportive relationship with yourself?
Self-love
Without the capacity to understand and accept yourself, can you ever really know and love another?
This past week, I was reminded of the difficulty in practicing self-love.
I spent three days hooked up to an IV for 10 hours each day. It was infusion time - the week each month I receive treatment for my rare autoimmune disease. While fortunate to have these treatments at home, after five years and nearly sixty treatments, it’s become increasingly difficult to accept this routine may always be a part of my life.
Its limitations make it more difficult to accept the person who needs them.
Outside of infusion days, I give little thought to my condition despite the daily symptoms. I’ve become an expert at compartmentalization, separating my illness from the rest of my life.
Chalk it up to thirty years of trial and error and learning to focus on the positive.
Accepting my diagnosis, the series of events that led to it, and the years of mystery that caused it to become chronic were lessons in patience, perseverance, and resilience.
Yet, infusion week serves as a reminder of the reality - without treatment, my condition will progress; there is no cure, and the exorbitant cost to maintain insurance rises each year without fail. Is it all sustainable?
While spending three days at home with little to do may seem indulgent, the time is anything but. Exhaustion, fever, headaches, and brain fog make it impossible to write or work. Multiple sticks each month leave my arms bruised and battered. If I can concentrate, I attempt to study Italian or research my next article.
Most days, I’m left to contemplate what’s next.
While I often crave silence and embrace solitude, the silence was unwelcome this week.
Rather than practicing mindfulness, I found my thoughts racing, spiraling into the deepest crevices of my mind. I let the negative aspects of life overshadow the positive. I became withdrawn and on edge.
I focused on challenges rather than opportunities.
Although I was well aware of the ongoing inner dialogue and the many options to help prevent it from continuing, my attempts were unsuccessful.
It took several days and a long walk with my exuberant dog to feel the heaviness begin to lift.
What made this week different?
I forgot how powerful our minds can be.
I neglected the fact that how you think matters.
I dismissed the idea that our minds and thoughts can change the direction of our lives for the better or the worse.
Rather than accept the chance to slow down for a few days, I let my mind focus on things I couldn’t control and the what-ifs of the future.
I ignored the most significant challenge we face when dealing with adverse situations—the ability to silence negative thoughts if we allow them to enter our consciousness.
I did both.
The Power of Silence vs. The Power of The Mind
After reading Silencing Our Obsession With Talk by
where she discussed the upside to silence, I realized the issue wasn’t silence.It was what I let my mind do with the silence.
Instead of using the adversity toolkit I’d developed over the past decade, a set of tools that help build awareness, resilience, and a growth mindset, I left the toolbox locked and instead let my mind wander along a path of uncertainty.
I let the silence surrounding me become a void rather than a healing space.
I allowed the noise that enveloped me to overshadow the inner voice that attempted to guide me out of the abyss.
I stopped looking inward.
In hindsight, I’m not sure when things started to go wrong, but when it became clear that something was definitely wrong, I knew what I needed to do. My plan for the coming weeks:
Give myself a break.
Give myself time to regroup, reassess, and reevaluate.
Give myself grace.
Rest.
If you’d like to share how you regained your footing after experiencing a setback, please leave a comment or feel free to reach out by direct message.
As always, thank you for reading and sharing.
Until next week, stay well and be mindful.
While I hadn’t planned on sharing my recent struggles this week, I felt it was important to acknowledge that setbacks are common despite successes, and falling back into old habits happens despite the time and effort you’ve invested. Losing your way is part of finding your path.
Thank you for sharing your backstage experience, Tracy. I have nothing close to yours but self-love is something I'm working on. It's easy to slip for me - when I overwork myself my needs are the first to suffer. This past weekend was very hard on me. I worked on my first sales page and it was draining physically, emotionally. I felt like crying. And I don't really want to go through that again the next time I plan to launch a product. But I also know it will be like that until I learn this new skill.
For me walking Beau, helps me to get out of a funk.
Other times I reorganize a small cluttered space, that can even extend to the garden. Pull a few weeds or trim back overgrowth. Mentally it helps to declutter negative thoughts.
Learning to give myself grace is an ongoing process, I am much better at it now.
Right now I am resting and listening to the birds outside my window. Thank you Tracy for your vulnerable share.