Practical Optimism: Is It The Way To Build Resilience and Bounce Back From Adversity?

Photo by Nolan Simmons on Unsplash

Is this glass half full or half empty?

Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist?

Maybe you’re somewhere in the middle - a realist who accepts and deals with things as they are.

Wherever your beliefs fall, your outlook makes a difference in how you think and live. It also determines your actions when challenges arise.

I’ve lived at both ends of the spectrum but now consider myself more of an optimist. Life experiences helped me evolve and change my perspective over time.

Being raised by two people with a never-give-up attitude also taught me that a hefty dose of optimism would carry me further than a negative one. But do genetics play a role in our outlook on life?

A study of 500 pairs of twins, half reared together and half adopted apart early in life, found that how you think is roughly 25% inherited.

The rest is shaped by what happens to you during your life.

Your experiences form your perspective.

If you’re overly optimistic, you may be criticized for toxic positivity, but there’s a difference between the two. A positive attitude can become toxic when someone pretends everything is fine or dismisses difficult experiences with thoughtless, trite suggestions of “don’t focus on the negative,” “everything will be fine.”

When you feel your experience has been negated by someone touting an optimistic resolution with little or no consideration for the reality of the situation, you’re right to feel the toxicity in the exchange.

But there’s more to optimism than being positive. A 2022 Forbes piece highlighted research that “ optimism is usually not a passive state; optimists expect good things to happen based on their active participation.”

In other words, optimists work to generate positive outcomes.

Active participation is the crucial point. A person who holds a positive attitude works toward a desired outcome. 

At work, your sales manager may use optimism to rally your team if you’re about to miss your quarterly sales goals. At home, a parent may use optimism to help motivate a child struggling with school.

Optimism is a classic tactic to help get things back on track when things go wrong. 

But what if you don’t subscribe to the benefits of optimism or a positive attitude, especially when adversity hits?

Many don’t.

You may lose faith and hope that a favorable outcome is possible after a crisis or unexpected loss.

Can you find your way to a middle ground, a place that can help you establish a perspective that will sustain you during the most challenging times?

Optimism, Pessimism, Realism, or something else?

Sue Varma, M.D. was the first medical director and attending psychiatrist at the World Trade Center Mental Health Program. She worked with civilian and first-responder survivors in the aftermath of 9/11, where she met people at every point of the stress and trauma continuum. She witnessed devastation but incredible resiliency, too. She writes about it in her book Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being.

After watching an interview with Varma this week, I downloaded the audio version of the book, intrigued by the idea of practical optimism.

Could this perspective help build resilience? Of course, resilience is a topic of particular interest to me and one I often cover here, as it was the reason I survived several life-altering experiences.

Why does resiliency matter?

During a crisis, you’re faced with navigating unchartered territories. Most people are ill-prepared for what lies ahead.

Building resiliency in the face of challenging times is not something you think about. But when you’re forced to pick up the pieces after an unexpected loss or tragic event, it’s resiliency that gets you through.

What is a practical optimist? 

Varma suggests you’re a practical optimist if you’re a resourceful, realistic, and thoughtful problem solver with a rare value - the inner resources to cope during a crisis.

She discusses ways to optimize the things you can control while doing your best to manage stressful experiences.

Here are a few characteristics of a practical optimist.

1. Practical optimists focus on the positive aspects of a situation rather than the negative aspects. They concentrate on the area that’s in their control.

During my son’s illness, I had to learn to separate the two sides of the unfolding situation: the part I could manage and control and the one I could do nothing about. 

Staying focused on the things within my control helped me take small steps every day, even if those steps initially led us in the wrong direction. The important part was taking the steps. 

2. Practical optimists are open and have a flexible point of view. They’re not stuck on one belief. They accept new ideas or concepts.

When infectious disease doctors couldn’t find the cause of my son’s symptoms, I turned to practitioners with a different perspective and an open mind. The ones who ultimately helped were those willing to think outside the box and try new things.

3. Practical optimists learn to process and manage their emotions, especially the negative ones. Varma talks about four ways to manage negative emotions:

• Name it (observe the feeling and notice the trigger).

• Claim it (accept it and recognize when you’re holding the tension).

• Tame it (soothe it through activities such as journaling, meditation, or muscle relaxation).

• Reframe it (shift your thought process and determine if there’s a silver lining).

4. Practical optimists are problem solvers. They look for solutions and learn to act when necessary.

Finding answers to my unknown illness after two decades, and later my son’s, required a research-driven approach that answered questions others were afraid to ask.

5. Practical optimists are self-aware and have a sense of self-worth. They learn to give themselves grace.

These are often some of the hardest characteristics to develop, regardless of your circumstances, particularly if you’re a Type A personality or hold yourself to high standards.

6. Practical optimists understand the importance of being present and developing a positive mindset.

If you’ve been a regular reader of The Power of Change, you’ll recognize many of these ideas, as I’ve shared them in various posts as part of my adversity toolkit and the steps to building resilience.

Varma calls practical optimism a toolset.

Whatever you’d like to call it, developing an attitude or outlook and the skills to move forward during challenging times is about being resourceful and tapping the resources needed to get you on the path to well-being.

There are many ways to build resilience. Practical optimism is one of those ways.

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